


Shattered

by Braxenimos



Category: iCarly
Genre: Drama, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-04
Updated: 2011-07-04
Packaged: 2015-03-11 08:27:58
Rating: T
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,372
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7143938/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2987535/Braxenimos
Summary: When Freddie finally tells Sam how he feels, things dont turn out how he would like them to. Seddie of course.





	1. Chapter 1

**Alright, I am finally back with a new one! I think im going to leave the last story I started as a one shot. Sorry for anyone who wanted it to continue. This is intended as a one shot as well, but I would be willing to expand if people really want me to. One last thing I guess. This story was extremely hard to write. This is one of those stories an author draws from personal experiences. And we can leave it at that.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own whatever the hell people might assume I own from this story.**

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><p>The small blue pickup truck rolled down street headed towards it destination. Its only passenger was lost deep in thought. A situation Freddie found himself in quite a lot lately. He was usually so lost in his thoughts that he wouldn't even remember actually driving home. All he could remember were his thoughts, not lights he stopped at, or the other cars he passed. Not even shutting off the engine and making the trip up to his apartment.<p>

Instead his mind was flooded with images of long blonde curls. Those same curls attached to a girl that would never be his. The girl that he loved.

He wasn't even sure why he had fallen so hard for. One minute they were just friends, sort of, and next he couldn't take his eyes off of her. It happened while she was doing one of the things that made Sam who she was. Eating meat. She had sat at the counter by the kitchen in the Shay's apartment gnawing viciously away at a chicken leg when something in Freddie's heart awoke.

It still baffled him to this day, even more so considering the events that had transpired just days before. She was rude to him, she beat him and scarred him in ways he would never be able to speak of to anyone, and she was completely opposite in every way from him. Yet, to him, she was perfect. And he hated it. Because she didn't feel the same way about him even a little. She even told him so, causing his heart to fracture. It hadn't broken but it was damn close. If this was the first girl he had loved and been rejected by then he was sure it would have shattered into thousands of pieces. But she wasn't. So his heart was somewhat used to it. Well, as used to heartbreak as a heart can be. Which isn't very much.

As he took his foot off the break and eased back onto the gas as the stoplight turned green he remembered, for the hundredth time, the day he lost a bit of himself.

They were driving in the same blue pickup arguing the same way they always did. Freddie wouldn't admit it to Sam, but it was one of the things he looked forward to everyday. It was comfortable behavior to them.

"Seriously, Fredwardo. Why wont you come tonight?" She was referring to the little sleepover she was hosting at her house while her mom was gone for the night. It was something Freddie couldn't stand the thought of. It didn't even matter if he got to spend time with Sam. Not while _he_ was there.

Sam's boyfriend. _Shane _wasn't exactly high on Freddie's list of people he enjoyed being around. For multiple reasons. Of course one of them was because he was dating the person he was in love with, but it was much more than that. He gave off an unsettling vibe that Freddie just couldn't shake. He just _knew_ he was unfaithful to Sam but couldn't bring himself to tell her his opinion for fear of his well being. But his list of negatives about the guy was much longer than that. He cant count how many times Sam asked him to not to hang with his friends when they did questionable things. Questionable being; stealing cars and buying drugs that he swore he didn't do.

But he ignored her pleads and went anyway. And it still didn't sink in that what he was doing was wrong after he had been pistol whipped. A situation that he would never explain how it happened.

Not to mention the night Freddie wanted to actually put him in the hospital. Valentines Day. The night he called and canceled plans with Sam so that he could go to some party. Sam was pissed leading to Freddie asking why she had even stayed with him this whole time. Her only reply was that she loved him. But he didn't believe her. Out of all the times he over heard her arguing with him, after all the times she complained about something he did or said, Freddie couldn't believe she loved him. But he had enjoyed that night immensly. He ended up at the movies with Sam, Carly and her boyfriend. Even though it was the four of them Freddie was just happy to be with Sam on Valentines Day.

But, to even further his pain, Sam would never shut up about the things they did at night. Always proud of the way she could satisfy him. Always ignorant to the damage her gloating was doing to Freddie. And he knew, he just knew, that they would sneak away at some point during the sleep over to 'have fun'. And he couldn't stand that thought. Didn't want to be in the same house; hell, the same street, and experience that again.

After a few moments of shaking his head Freddie finally spoke. "Because, it just doesn't sound all that fun to me. I mean, I would be a freaking fifth wheel. And I really don't feel like doing that _again_."

"Oh come on, you're not a fifth wheel. We all still manage to have fun don't we? Don't be a freaking baby about everything." The we she was referring to was, of course, Carly and her boyfriend. Ever since his two best friends had found boyfriends that they actually stayed with for more than a week he felt left out. Not so much by Carly but he assumed that was because he wasn't in love her. So it didn't bother him that she had a boyfriend. In fact Freddie rather liked Carly's boyfriend. He was actually a decent person that Freddie clicked with right away. So he knew it wasn't simply because he was in love with Sam that he hated Shane. He was simply not a person Freddie would associate with no matter the situation.

"You don't get it, Sam." he sighed before continuing. "Sure you guys will all be the same around me as you have always been but sooner or later I will be left alone in the living room just like always. You and Carly eagerly jumping your boyfriends bones at the first chance you get. That's not exactly a situation I like being put in."

"He is my boyfriend Freddie, and that is what couples do. Get over yourself and hang out with your friends for a night." She glanced at him expecting to find the angry expression on his face that was usually present during their fights, but instead she could swear she saw something else. And she knew he wasn't telling her the truth. At least, not the whole truth.

"Sam, stop pushing. I'm not going." He stated, shaking his head.

"Yes you are. I might not say it often but you are my friend and I want my friends there tonight." He felt his decision pull in the other direction for a moment. Just a moment. He wanted to be there with Sam, especially now that she admitted to actually wanting him there. But he couldn't do it.

"No, I'm sorry." He shook his head again. They were close to Bushwell but it felt like it was still hours away and all Freddie wanted was to be out of Sam's grasp.

"Dude, I'm not giving up. Not until you agree to come or at least tell me the real reason you don't want to go." She had that look in her eye that said she meant it. She wasn't letting him slip his way out of this one.

"No"

"Tell me!"

"No!"

"God, damnit Freddie. What is your problem?" She was yelling now. Freddie's words struck the moment her last sentence ended.

"Because _I _like you! Okay? Happy? And I'm really not the biggest fan of Shane. I just… I don't like the guy okay?"

Sam was quiet. His words sinking in slowly. She wanted the truth out of him but she never would have expected him to say that.

"You understand right? I just… can't."

She nodded slowly in understanding.

Freddie was oddly relaxed now that he had gotten his deepest secret out. He wasn't embarrassed or even scared of what she would say next. But her silence wasn't very reassuring. The silence lasted the entire drive home, neither of the teenagers knowing what to say.

And it had pretty much remained that way all the way to now. Sam evaded Freddie as much as possible, fracturing his heart more and more each day. She had, though, eventually texted him saying she was sorry but that she didn't feel the same way. Unfortunately he was in class at the time and couldn't hide his tears from the rest of the class. That had earned him many snide and undeserving remarks from the other students.

So now all he could do was hope for their lives to return to normal. To have his friend back. But he had to settle for a mere glimpse every now and then of the blonde curls he had fallen so much in love with.

It was a normal day just like any other as he winded down the roads to his apartment from school. The same roads he was driving when he told Sam how he felt. Well, he hadn't told her the extent of his feelings. He hadn't told her how madly in love with her he was but he was sure it wouldn't make a difference. But he had to tell her. She had to know. He told himself that he would at least tell her. Even if she still rejected him, she had to know how he felt.

He was an hour later arriving in the parking lot than he usually was. He stayed at school for a meeting with his AV club, bummed that he wouldn't get to see Sam walking into the Shay apartment as he entered his. He sighed and got out of the car. On his way to the front door of the building he was surprised when he saw Sam walking away from the building, her backpack bouncing as she strode down the sidewalk.

She glanced back for a just a second. Just enough to notice Freddie's familiar face. She turned around and headed towards him just as she had done multiple times before at the sight of her friend. Freddie turned his gaze away from her for all of two seconds just to make sure he didn't run into anything on his way to the door. But those two seconds were probably the worst two seconds of his life.

Once he tuned his sight towards her once more he noticed that she was turned around and heading the other way again. His heart sank. He had realized what had happened almost immediately. She saw a friend and acted instinctively. Quickly making her way to greet him, only to remember the things that happened between them. She didn't want to be near him and that was all it took to tear him apart.

He stopped, dead in his tracks, as he watched her walk away trying his hardest to stop the tears from coming. Slowly fading away the farther she got. The realization struck him hard. Not only did he not have Sam the way he wanted to have her, but they weren't even friends any more.

And that was all it took to finally shatter his heart.

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><p><strong>Whew! There you have it. Tell me what you think. And if I should continue it or not. <strong>

**If you dont review I wont give you a cookie. I wont give you one any way but it doesnt matter because I know you will review. Or else. Hah! just kidding, but probably not.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay! So now this story has become a two-shot. And I think Im going to leave it that way. More real life inspiration, but in a good way this time. With that said, this chapter is dedicated to my best friend of over 15 years. We might be a few hours away these days but no one will ever replace you.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>The same blue truck rolled down the street. The same damn truck. The truck Freddie loved to hate, and hated to love. It was old, at least twelve years old, but it still got to places just fine. But there was always something wrong with it. Be it the broken air conditioner, the missing side view mirror, or even the sticker that had previously belonged to someone else that would never come off. But it was still his truck.<p>

His first vehicle. So many memories were had in that damn truck that getting rid of it seemed like a crime in itself. And the fact that he couldn't pay for another car anyway. No, he wouldn't get rid of it. He would keep it until it simply couldn't run anymore. He would make even more memories in it, be they good or bad. He smiled as he remembered the good that made the truck so precious to him.

He remembered hanging around it with all of his guy friends as they blasted loud rock music from the radio causing angry words to fly at them from the neighbors. He remembered the time simply driving around with a friend or two just to ride and enjoy life. He also remembered what he had once labeled as a happy memory. The many times he rode around with just Sam. Teaching her how to drive, surprised at how quickly she caught on. She used that to her advantage, driving far too fast and almost crashing multiple times. She enjoyed creating fear in her dorky friend.

But she wasn't as good as she thought, she was still the same careless Sam. She took her eyes off the road to look for god knows what in the vehicle and swerved a bit to the right. It wasn't until she regained control and realized they were okay when Freddie noticed his side view mirror was gone. Looking back and also noticing there was a shattered mailbox quickly leaving their view.

Sam was so sorry that he just couldn't be mad at her. He covered for her. No one found out the truth as to how the mirror had been broken. They made up a lie and said they had found it that way.

He told himself he would file those memories officially under the "bad" section of his mind.

"Watcha thinkin about?" Carl spoke up next to Freddie, realizing he was deep in thought. Carl was Carly's boyfriend. Odd right? Carl and Carly? Freddie thought so, but it was just another silly thing that seemed to flood his life. At least he got a chuckle out of it. Carl had become his best friend quite quickly. They had almost everything in common. From their interests to their views on life, they were extremely similar. So it was no surprise when Carl noticed something was on Freddie's mind.

"You know, about Sam. I know she's going to be there and I'm not sure if I'm going to end up liking this afternoon or not." He sighed and continued driving. They were simply meeting at a mutual friends house. He only agreed because he knew Shane wouldn't be there. He didn't even have to ask if he would, he just knew he wouldn't. Shane was never around when they were hanging out at other peoples houses. Only if it was Sam's place and he was able to spend the night with her. Freddie held off a growl at that thought.

"It'll be alright, dude. Hey, maybe you two will even become friends again." Always looking on the bright side, just like his girlfriend. Freddie thought they were perfect for each other.

Freddie stifled a small laugh. "Yeah, maybe. Thanks for being so supportive. Its nice to have a good friend through all this crap."

But Freddie knew it was impossible. His friendship with Sam had been severed. But just because he knew it was impossible doesn't mean he didn't hope otherwise. All we really can do is hope for the best in life right? At least he was looking on the bright side.

The afternoon ended up turning out how he thought it would. The same it always did when he was around Sam these days. She avoided him of course, forcing Freddie to put a mental hold on his heart attempting to hold it together. Every time they ended up in the same room together she would leave within thirty seconds. He found himself wondering if she had ever actually considered him a friend. It was hard to believe with the way she avoided him as if molten lava headed towards her. Did she really just not care enough to deal with things?

He couldn't settle his emotions on a specific feeling. Everything was twisted up. He should be angry at her for avoiding him but he was also angry at himself for not building up courage to confront her himself. If he really wanted his friend back he should just talk to her. But what if that only makes things worse? But how could things be worse? He almost screamed but held it back.

But then it happened.

She approached the already formed group of Freddie, Carly, Carl and their friend Deserie. She joined in with ease and he could see it in her eyes. She was actually trying to be friendly with him again. She wasn't talking to him directly but there she was, joined in on a conversation he was a part of. He knew this was the hope he was looking for.

Deserie said something he found weird and decided to take the chance. He repeated the same thing in a questioning tone looking towards Sam just as he used to. Hoping she would react the same way she did before. But her eyes locked with his for a just a moment before they lost that spark. His hope was gone. She looked away suddenly uninterested in the conversation being held in front of her.

She slowly eased herself away from the group and headed for another room. Freddie almost exploded in anger until he felt a hand on his shoulder. Carl patted it and gave him a knowing look that said "Sorry, man." So he didn't explode. She wasn't worth all of this. Not if she wasn't willing to even associate with him any longer.

A bit of clarity found its way into Freddie thoughts. He figured there would be other girls. Other friends. Hell, he had already found a new one, and a good one at that. Simply thinking happy thoughts for once brought a smile to his face.

And that was all it took to know that he was going to be just fine.

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><p><strong>Alright, so I liked the structure and flow of the first chapter better but I still liked how this one turned out. Thanks to those that reviewed!<strong>

**Now do it again, damnit!**


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